Profits or Losses, investment in crypto can go both ways–neither is guaranteed, And that’s why it is always good practice to minimize your controllable risks by doing your own research.
That said, here are 17 of the wildest crypto confessions you’ll ever see. They all range from corny to indescribable, and flat-out hilarious. Enjoy!
“I took out a $20,000 personal loan to buy bitcoin. I was able to catch the bottom at 15.8. As I’m writing this now $BTC is trading around 23k. I will be hodling until 2025 while paying off this loan. Scared money don’t make no money.”
Corny as it sounds, we’ve seen a lot of traders dive right into crypto with this over-flogged cliche at the back of their minds. Match up with well-honed trading skills and you’d likely turn out fine–otherwise humbling losses.
“I giga longed the bottom at 17k and turned $2k into $100k on altcoins. Somehow I only have $25k left.”
Need we say more? Crypto has cycles. It requires great skill to know when to get in and an even greater skill to know when to get out. A 5000% gain is massive for anyone and hopefully, Mr. Giga long will know when to take profit next time around.
“I was going through Twitter search for my favorite shitcoin tag and found a guy who posted some hopium. It ended up mooning hard. I followed him and copy-traded him all last year. I’m financially free now. He still has less than 200 followers and zero interactions. Thanks, Anon.”
There goes another great practice. If learning the ropes is too hard for you, find someone with a trustworthy knowledge and copy their methods. However, the market is never promised so be prepared for whatever outcome.
“I have 1 BTC stashed away for the kids of each of my brothers and best friends. They don’t know. They won’t know until the kids are 18. I couldn’t deal with their drama about it each year if they knew and watched the prices. Nobody knows.”
Most people would agree this is a smart move. Cathay Woods predicts BTC would hit a $1 million value mark over the next decade, while Robert Kiyosaki piths it around the half-a-million-dollar mark. Hopefully, Bitcoin stays relevant, regardless of the regulatory outcome, over the next two decades and these kids get a good life headstart.
“My wife has a crypto Twitter account that I run. She knows nothing about crypto, and I make all the posts for her and get her to take pics from time to time. Simps just send her Eth for no reason. We have just booked an African safari paid entirely by crypto people.”
Crypto scams like this one are on the rise. Don’t be dumb to fall for a simple catfish operation like this. If you have to spray some sats around for the love of generosity, at least verify the account.
“I was happier when I was poor. Nothing good about going to the club, having a supercar, a big empty house, eating what I want. The excitement of one day having money was more fun. The struggle is more rewarding.”
If you ever find yourself feeling this way after successful crypto trading, then it’s time to take a break and look inwards to other things that make you satisfied asides from making money. Go skiing, volunteer or just be there for others in more ways than financially. Trust me, you’ll come back feeling even better—and broke enough to start a fresh round of rewarding struggle.
“Became a millionaire before losing my virginity. Thanks, crypto.”
This user got a ton load of backlash–and congratulations–for such a weird flex. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to be ambitious and on the upside, crypto can be rewarding for just anyone if you put your mind to learning about it. On virginity, oh well…
“I never pay taxes, nor have even the slightest concern to figure out how much I owe. I don’t use tax services, have never filed a tax report, nor know how to. I thought one day I’d wake up to feds knocking on my door, but 4 years and 100k in profits later, nothing has happened.”
Don’t evade tax! The last few months in crypto have taught us it is never a good practice to be on the wrong side of the law. Residents in the UK, the US, and a good number of European countries pay taxes on crypto earnings as a legal responsibility. You may, however, find crypto-tax-free countries like Portugal, Singapore, Germany, Seychelles, and Switzerland to carry out your crypto activities without tax implications.
“A buddy of mine worked at FTX up until the collapse. He mentioned that the company seemed to be wasting money left and right. As a joke, I sent a random invoice from a fake company whose webpage was blank with the words “real company” on it. The invoice even stated that there were no services rendered. To my surprise, they paid it. I kept doing this for eight months and made over $162,000.”
Well, this speaks a ton to the carelessness of FTX than the smartness of this anon. The most basic due diligence would have averted this, but hey, that’s what you get when a top-tier exchange has illegal access to billions in customer funds they have trouble keeping track of. Anyway, FTX is currently on the hunt to recoup all of its careless spendings, so, anon, keep an eye out!
“I have Tourette Syndrome. I’m a CS grad, crypto-native all the way (2017 class). I can’t just land a Web3 job. My Tourette is very visible and interviewers can’t face me for more than 15 minutes without laughing. I wish I could get a remote job but no one responded to my CV when they saw that Tourette syndrome is mentioned (50+ sent). This space saved my life, if the 2020-2021 cycle didn’t happen, I‘d be dead for sure.”
If there’s one thing to learn, it’s the fact that you are much more capable of being successful and you’ve got no excuse. A good knowledge of crypto can be rewarding either as a trader, a builder, or even an employee. The choice is yours.
“I am an only child. Last year I had no money and my mom had a stroke that affected her right side movement. I had to work to pay her medical bills, but couldn’t leave her home alone. Luckily, I got a $1200 airdrop. I have used 70% of the funds for rehab and meds. I will soon be back to zero but this time I am not giving up.”
It’s never just crypto. Never give up.
“Crypto changed my life for the better. A client of mine wasn’t paying out what he owed me, and my company was starting to get into bad papers so I invested my last 20k during the 2020 bull run.
Got my account up to 1.6M at the top and cashed out around ~1M. Bought a house for my family and living a (financially) stress-free life. I owe the CT community a ton and I’m grateful for it every day.”
$1M is quite an impressive profit made. As with all investment decisions, timing the market and understanding the risks are key. They said, never put in more money than you can afford to lose.
“Been in the crypto space since 2017. Survived most of it and still in profit. Been figuring out taxes and all the BS. Talking to one of my mates, I got him into the AI narrative last year before it all blew up.
He got a loan and aped over £5k into just one coin despite my advice to diversify. He has more profit than I do atm with zero hassle. As happy as I am for him it hurts a bit.”
AI Tokens have seen multiple 100x rises since the launch of ChatGPT in 2022. Still, we have little idea what correlation exists between the growing hype and its significance for crypto. While there’s no one-size-fits-all for success in crypto, learning to do your research and rationally trusting your gut can be pretty helpful more often than not—as we’ve seen in this case.
“My childhood was full of abuse and hardship. Later my brother and only friend got severe schizophrenia out of the blue. I dedicate myself, working hard to get him out of the institution. Made a good chunk in 2017/18 in crypto. Got him out finally. Did some charity too. Kept working hard, buying all I could after.
Didn’t sell the last top but made it big enough to retire my parents early. I keep working hard, living humbly, and buying all I can so maybe this time I can retire too. I can see the light at the end, but at the same time, I am dead tired.”
People have different motivations for getting into crypto (as you’ll see with confession number 16) and it’s totally fine. If you ever hit your target, find joy in being able to use crypto to add value to the ones you love.
“My Dad lost over $5k on a scam exchange after he was contacted by someone on Whatsapp. I lost well over $10k holding Bitcoin from ATH. We never used to have much to talk about but now we’ve reconnected, sharing craziness about the crypto market. It is weird, I know, but crypto has brought us together. Gotta be grateful for that. “
Beyond the “brothers in misery” storyline, a bigger lesson is being careful enough to avoid getting scammed. Crypto scammers made over $14 billion in 2021 by preying on victims’ greed. Whether you are staking, leverage trading, or buying into IDOs, be content with your progress, however slow. If it’s too good to be true, it definitely is.
“As an introverted guy, crypto was my last and only hope of turning things around. I hated socially interacting at my job and relationships are impossible tier. So I grinded 7 hard years in crypto full-time while living frugally.
Roundtripped plenty of times but finally managed to reach and secure high 6 figs. The plan was to move to a cheap cost-of-living country and retire. Then boom, diagnosed with an untreatable condition that affects one of my senses. I Did all the research and consulted doctors. I could never live normally and travel without being a burden to someone else. What was the point in dedicating all that time to “make it”? Just live your lives a day at a time bros!”
In the pursuit of happiness through crypto, always make out time to take care of your body. Reduce long-hour exposure to screens, take vitamins, drink a lot of water, exercise, and build real-world friendships. Or what else do you think crypto meant when it said “touch grass?”
“I built my Twitter account with the intention to shill my own bags and retire. Along the way, I met so many good genuine people who are just as hungry as I am for financial freedom. Now that my Twitter account is large enough for shilling, I refuse to shill any of my bags and would rather take the honest, “harder” route. Even if I don’t ever achieve my goal, I still live in peace knowing that I am not a scumbag.”
Now that’s a great one. Be the change you want in others. Among the hubris of those who see others as exit liquidity, there are people who still believe crypto has a place in the future of global finance. Have this at the back of your mind when you interact and transact within the space and we’ll all be better off.
These amazing stories have been brought to you, courtesy of Coinfessions.
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